Although I'm thankful I happened to be in Utah last weekend for some shoots, I'm sadly back in Wyoming until his funeral (although I'm trying to get back sooner). Saying goodbye Monday morning broke my heart into a billion little pieces which have yet to even begin to find their way back together.
It's happening. We all knew it would, and yet I still don't feel prepared. I'm not ready yet.
I'm not ready to never again see his stupid little jigs during Sunday afternoon croquet. I'm not ready to never again hear his loud voice going on about Radiohead or some movie he wants me to check out on Netflix (which he always gives me a spoiler for). I'm not ready to never again reminisce big fish tales about our childhoods and the shenanigans we got ourselves into. I'm not ready to never again argue about which gate our flight is leaving out of. I'm not ready to never again feel his arms wrap around me in a giant annoying hug bomb.
Heaven might be nice, but I'm not ready to never again experience the imperfections of this mortal life with him.
Life, nor death, will ever wait until you're ready... so I'm desperately thankful for the precious time I had been given to have adventures with Al. I hope you can find some good mountains to climb on the other side, brother.
peace,
k.
Certainly sorry to hear its gotten this bad. Best of luck to Alex, you and your family. Hope all goes well.
ReplyDeleteOh man, Katie, this one got me. What a thing, to say goodbye to him before he actually is gone.
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