My Blog is Awesome!

You know you've arrived to the blogger big times when searches like these lead 4 (actually probably only 2) people to your blog:

But don't worry, just because I've reached ultimate blogger readership/awesomeness, it doesn't mean I've lost touch with what really makes this blog shine. It's all about the personal touch, folks.

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Dear person(s) looking curtain fixatives for a glass wall,

Thank you for visiting my blog! I suspect, since you have glass walls in your house, that you're probably rich and famous and quite possibly a movie star. In fact, I think it's probably safe to assume you're Angelina Jolie. I hope you enjoyed your stay here at my blog, Angie! Can't say I'm a big fan of your movies, but hey, can't win 'em all, right? Brad is a great actor, though! Anyway, I'm sorry I couldn't help you with your curtain problem in one of my previous posts, but I'd like to now offer my expert opinion on the matter.

Duct tape.

With duct tape, you can attach anything to anything, even a curtain rod to glass! At first, if it doesn't seem to work, just add more duct tape. Not only will duct tape not fail, but it also comes in a variety of colors and designs, so you'll be able to change it out as you update your interiors (What else are you gonna do with your money, right? Haha, poor people, the suckers!).

Your fixative expert,
RobotBanjo

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Dear (possibly foreign) love lorn person/75 year old grandma,

You have, indeed, come to the right place for fantastic relationships advice! I'd like to point you in the direction of my various dating posts as I think you'll find a lot of wonderful information to meet you needs. But for a more direct answer to your google search, look no further as I'm about to answer it...

"I'm into you" is a delightful expression I never hear, but exists for attractive people. It means there is some level of interest from one human being for another, usually regarding the need to breed with that person, and doesn't necessarily reflect readiness for prolonged commitment (although it sometimes is a byproduct). If someone has told you "I'm into you", congratulations! It means you're attractive enough to breed with and possibly commit to!

But a word of caution, you will probably never hear "I'm not into you". Unfortunately this opposing dating ritual manifests itself non-verbally in rude actions usually excused as absent mindedness. If your potential mate seems to be dropping the ball and not showing consistent interest, you can assume he/she is not into you.

Your dating expert,
RobotBanjo

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Until next time, beloved googlers!

peace,
k.