This Is My Love Life, These Are My Friends

The following digital conversation took place after I txted my friend (we'll call him "pal") the long and awkward story about how, yet again, I metaphorically threw up on the new shoes of a crush I've had my eye on for the last two months (and who I unfortunately probably won't see again, but not due to the metaphorical barf)...

[conclusion of story, which cannot be repeated on a public blog]  

PAL: Haha, oh no, I'm sorry.

ME: It's probably best I don't date anyway given my pathetic handling of a crush. Haha.

PAL: Oh stop it. It's funny! Plus it's basic romantic comedy formula. Cute awkwardness + uncomfortable situations = long term successful relationships.

ME: Oh trust. I think that ALL THE TIME with my horrible, yet endearing, awkwardness. I'm like a walking romantic comedy waiting to happen. BUT IT NEVER DOES. Instead I get a painful independent dark comedy about a loser.

PAL: Well lucky for you, painful independent films are Ryan Gosling's specialty.

ME: Hey good point, pal. I've just got to reach rock bottom, then I'll meet Ryan Gosling, then the movie will end before we even get a chance to fall in love. But the important thing is I met Ryan Gosling.

PAL: Or you'll both die, or he'll kill your retarded brother, or he'll fall in love with a mannequin.

ME: Or he'll be a sociopath car driver who rides off into the sunset. The options are endless!

PAL: This is definitely a win win win.

Even though my dating life is less cute-pathetic like Liz Lemon's and more sad-pathetic like Tiny Furniture (which is not at all as charming as the preview makes it), I have to feel pretty lucky to have the sorts of friends that build up my completely unrealistic confidence with Ryan Gosling movie references.

peace,
k.