[conclusion of story, which cannot be repeated on a public blog]
PAL: Haha, oh no, I'm sorry.
ME: It's probably best I don't date anyway given my pathetic handling of a crush. Haha.
PAL: Oh stop it. It's funny! Plus it's basic romantic comedy formula. Cute awkwardness + uncomfortable situations = long term successful relationships.
ME: Oh trust. I think that ALL THE TIME with my horrible, yet endearing, awkwardness. I'm like a walking romantic comedy waiting to happen. BUT IT NEVER DOES. Instead I get a painful independent dark comedy about a loser.
PAL: Well lucky for you, painful independent films are Ryan Gosling's specialty.
ME: Hey good point, pal. I've just got to reach rock bottom, then I'll meet Ryan Gosling, then the movie will end before we even get a chance to fall in love. But the important thing is I met Ryan Gosling.
PAL: Or you'll both die, or he'll kill your retarded brother, or he'll fall in love with a mannequin.
ME: Or he'll be a sociopath car driver who rides off into the sunset. The options are endless!
PAL: This is definitely a win win win.
Even though my dating life is less cute-pathetic like Liz Lemon's and more sad-pathetic like Tiny Furniture (which is not at all as charming as the preview makes it), I have to feel pretty lucky to have the sorts of friends that build up my completely unrealistic confidence with Ryan Gosling movie references.
k.
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