1. Jumpsuits. (*sigh*) There is maybe .001% of the female population that doesn't look totally stupid in one of these, and those few ladies could probably pull off a dead tuna. They aren't feminine, flattering, or classy. This is the outfit your future kids will make fun of you for wearing.
2. Man-tanks. Maybe fun at the beach but gross anywhere else. I mean look at this dude wearing it. "Hi, my name is Storm. Wanna go back to my parent's basement, open a six pack of blue ribbon, and get tantric-freaky?"
3. Non-perscription glasses. Look, if you want to be all bold with your glasses choice, have at it. But for the love of everything, actually have a prescription in those glasses. I've had to nerd it up with real glasses since the third grade. I've put in my dues! Perfect-sighted people need to step off and stick to their sunglasses.
4. Except these. But then, you ask, what would all the douches wear while they sell pest control and alarm systems? If a drunk tool obnoxiously yells out his window at people while driving, and other tools aren't there to see it through their vision impairing frames, did that tool really make a sound? One of life's mysteries, people.
5. Intervention time. I know I'll probably make the whole of Utah Valley show up at my door tonight with torches and pitchforks for this one but I've just got to get it off my chest... STOP PUTTING THESE MAMMOTH FLOWERS ON YOUR NEW BABY'S HEADS. Babies are so devastatingly sweet on their own, why would you ever overwhelm them with giant neon flowers that were trendy for about 5 seconds?! Little girls with cute flower hair accessories = adorable. Newborn babies with gaudy fabric flowers bigger than their heads = tacky.
Now that I've lost my entire blog-stalker base (love you), I'm going to get back to some editing! It's what I do on a Friday night, baby!
peace,
k.
Lol never did the flower thing. I do have to say that there is something super hot about my guy coming home from work in torn jeans and a messy tank. Something very earthy and yummy. Might just be the guy under the grunge though.
ReplyDeleteI was actually going to add a little note that said hard working, manual labor, guys deserve to wear whatever they want and don't apply to the above statement about man-tanks... then I forgot. So I agree with you there about men with physical/messy jobs. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYESSSS!!!!! I agree with all of them, but my enthusiastic yes is about those flowers. They drive me nuts but I thought I was the only one so I just bite my tongue and silently vow to never put one of those on one of my own daughters (if I ever had them). You and I should collaborate on a list of things that must go -- I can tell we'd agree. How do you feel about mom-tography (as in, if you have a dslr, you're qualified enough to charge people)?
ReplyDeleteMom-tography! Ah! I love it! Heather, consider this a giant internet hug for we are kindred spirits. I knew it from the moment I knew you loved Brandon Boyd too!
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