Saturday, June 25, 2011

11 Real Dating Tips From Mr. R

1. A good date always begins with a guilt trip. Her being sick with a virus from Africa is NOT a good reason to not go out with you.

2. Keep that guilt trip up for a good 2 days until she finally gives in.

3. Wear a button up shirt with the top button buttoned so you look like you're choking to death. It's also a good idea to where tall socks with sandals and shorts. This ensemble will make it apparent that you go to BYU, which Mormon chicks always like.

4. If you suspect she has any doubt about you going to BYU, talk about your mission to Italy the entire date.

5. Forget that she's been to Italy herself recently so the mystique of a foreign country doesn't impress her in the way it impresses those who have never been out of Utah.

6. When not talking about your mission, ask really good questions like “Do you like music?”. When she returns the question, answer with “Yeah, pretty much everything on the radio.”

7. Let her know that your favorite movie EVER is The Best Two Years.

8. Also mention your love for BYU sports and belittle her knowledge about the topic because she's a girl. 

9. Two words: Air. Drumming. Chicks dig it. Do as much as you can. Especially when stopped at red lights.

10. Throw in judgmental quips about gays, non-mormons, and people who watch rated R movies. They usually deserve the same harsh criticisms as serial rapists and baby killers.

11. When you drop her off at her house, invite her to a game night your ward is having for linger longer on Sunday.




Peace,
k.

1 comment:

  1. Dude too bad tatooed brother in law wasn't there to welcome you home. Hehehe.

    ReplyDelete