Annoying Part of Dating #52,189

APoD #52,189: Not being able to tell the truth.

(This applies to both men* and women**)

If I were in charge of the dating world...

ME: Oh hey so and so! We've been hanging out for a while now, and I'm into you! I also sorta get the feeling you're into me too?
GUY: Why YES, I am into you! At last we can combine our awesomeness into a rad boyfriend/girlfriend deal! Hooray for communication!
ME: Go team!
(And they dated happily ever after without drama. The end.)

OR

GUY: Why NO, I'm NOT into you! Let's continue being friends as if we never had this conversation!
ME: Sounds good! Just thought I'd ask! We cool!
(And they lived happily ever after as pals with no weirdness. The end.)


Instead, REALITY is more like this...

ME: Oh hey so and so! So, uh, (trying to be as smooth as possible) I guess I just wanted to let you know... uh... I kind of like you, no-big-deal-or-anything. Any chance it's reciprocated?
AWKWARD PAUSE: I'm being super awkward!
GUY: Of course I like you! You're the coolest girl I've ever met!
ME: Awesome. Let's just take it slow and see how things go!
GUY: You're a poet and you didn't even know it! You really are the whole package!
(The guy is actually lying about liking me, me being the coolest girl they've ever met, AND me being a poet. He therefore, in his web of lies, starts being weird, terminates friendship, and treats me like a leper. The end.)

*sigh*

Why is being honest so terrible? So what if I want to tell you that I'm into you? Or that I cried sobbed while watching an American Tale a few months ago? Or that I have a irrational repulsion to certain textures of bald heads? It all sounds pretty reasonable to me.

*Just kidding! Guys can get away with being honest up until they're married.
**Hot women don't apply. They can be batshit crazy and still be datable.